I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
