Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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