omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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