So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
