I hope mine doesn't look like that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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