Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
