Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
