the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
