You just made me feel so damn special
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
