I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
