About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
