i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
