Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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