My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize