I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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