I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
