But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
