she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
