I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Screwed.edu
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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