please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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