It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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