yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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