none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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