I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
