I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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