so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am naked and annoyed.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
