she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
