Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
