Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
