I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Randomize
