May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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