I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize