you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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