Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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