im drinking this country out of the recession.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just found puke in my bra..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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