I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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