How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i out mim tonsoeep
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