So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
