one two three fourrrrnication!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
