My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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