we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
