i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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