Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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