I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
