the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
