so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
