she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
