you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
