I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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