I'm really into asian looking animals
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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