her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
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I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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