areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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