What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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