Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
