I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize