i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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