Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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