Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
