She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
